Write me:  [email protected]

I am still learning patience.

I have known for over 40 years now that Nick has special needs.  Throughout that time, I have loved him, encouraged him, supported him, fought for him so he could get the services and therapies that he needed.  I understand what he is capable of and I know what is unrealistic expectations.  Most of the time.  Then there are other days when I get frustrated at the things that he does, or the things that he doesn’t do.  Some days Nick is doing great and is compliant and attentive and it is easy for me to do the things that are needed for his care.  Then there are other days that don’t go as well for him or me.  Nick’s capacities will change day to day based on his medical condition.  I know this logically, but I don’t always remember it during the stressful moments.

I was talking to a dear friend today about this.  She also takes care of her adult child with special needs.  As we talked about these shared experiences, we both wondered, “Why with all that we have experienced, all that we know, why do we still lose patience with our kids?”  One would think that after over 14,600 days of these typical experiences, I would be filled with patience and have curbed my agitation and irritability.  However, on those days that aren’t going well for me, Nick can tell when I have suddenly crossed the threshold into impatience.  He immediately asks me, “You done being frustrated with me?”  He wants me to quickly return to tolerance and love.

As embarrassing as this is for me to admit, often this question from Nick will increase rather than diminish my intolerant attitude.  So of course, he will keep asking me if I am done being frustrated with him until I finally say that I am done.  Sometimes I actually have returned to patience and other times, I will realize that I still need to adjust my attitude.  I do have those days where it takes me awhile to regain balance.

Perhaps one day, I will be able to handle all situations every day with grace and tenderness, but I know that Nick will continue to remind me to be done being frustrated with him, as I continue struggling with these common human responses to difficult situations.  I have learned that my lack of patience usually arises when I am tired, hungry, pressed for time or other outside pressures. Caring for Nick has given me many opportunities to have increased self awareness as I learn patience.

These experiences are not unique to me and my situation.  What have you learned on your own journey with patience?  Please share your thoughts with me, so we can learn from each other.

If you want to get a copy of the book about my journey with Nick as soon as it is available, click here to sign up.  Please share this blog with others. Don’t rely on your FaceBook feed to see all of my posts, sign up to get my blog delivered to your inbox directly.

Share this:


  1. My dad had a special relationship with a young man at church who was Down Syndrome. One day, dad told me that he truly felt a special gift was bestowed upon this young man, because he could read people like a book and knew exactly what they were thinking…then would counter with a genuine smile, hug and “I love you and so does God”. Dad said we are the disabled…they are especially gifted and blessed.

Comments are closed.

Blog Archives

Follow Eva’s Blog

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 15,165 other subscribers

Announcing that I have finished a book with the working title of “The Fairy Fort.” I am currently pitching it to publishers. Keep checking back to watch the progress of my newest novel.

Here is a quick glimpse of the story.

Sarah Doherty is an 18-year-old living in rural Ireland at the tail end of the Great War. Plagued by severe epilepsy, she is protected by her parents and lives a sheltered, secluded, lonely life. The Fae, local Irish fairies, interfere with her life. She falls forward a century in time through the local fairy fort of standing stones. She had a seizure in 1918 and woke up in 2020. The 21st century world includes life-saving prescriptions, physical comforts and the independence and freedom she seeks. The locals are welcoming and Andy Mclaughlin, a handsome young historian, is intriguing. She doesn’t want to return home.

Then a letter arrives from Boston divulging the story of Sarah and Andy’s lives that are deeply entwined in the previous century. They are not yet in love but as they seek to verify the letter through online resources, they feel a growing obligation to their unborn family and to each other. What would happen to their posterity living in Boston if they don’t return to 1918? Even if they do make it back, her parents can never know what happened to her or that would change everything.

This Young Adult time-travel romance explores the question: Do we have the freedom to make choices or is free will an elaborate illusion?

This is my third book. I love reading time travel romances. I am an advocate for epilepsy awareness because my 43-year-old son has intractable epilepsy. As a genealogist specializing in Irish research, I live part of the year in the village where the story is based. I wrote the book to help young adults understand that difficult situations can change your life. Sometimes miraculously.