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I believe that it is human nature to avoid doing something that we don’t want to do.  Either we think that it will be unpleasant or we aren’t sure of the outcome.  Will we be successful or will we fall flat on our face?

Sometimes this procrastination pattern is subtle and not easily recognized.  At other times, we have a visceral and even a verbal response to the situation and it is obvious what we are doing.  Sometimes I am distracted off of the task and never seem to get to it, at other times I will worry and worry about completing the project and yet not sit down and actually work on it.

We have alarms on our phones to remind us to give Nick his medication and alarms to take him to the toilet.  We have alarms to get him up and alarms to put him in bed.  Not preforming these tasks on time, can have dire consequences.

All new parents begin to learn this same lesson with dirty diapers, soiled beds, feeding a screaming baby who woke you up at night.  All of these are critically important situations and have to be taken care of immediately.  Avoiding these tasks for very long would be very bad, even deadly.

Caring for Nick with the unexpected and unavoidable changes in our plans, has given me many opportunities to face this behavioral response of mine.  Sometimes I will even say out loud, “Why do I have to do this? Right now? Really?”  I then take a deep breath, square my shoulders and do what needs to be done.  I have discovered that just jumping in and taking care of whatever it is, that is the immediate need, is always the best course.  I waste less time worrying and actually have more time available for the joy that is part of life.

I still have many times, even daily, when I avoid doing something.  Even after over 37 years of caring for Nick, I haven’t generalized my learning about avoidance and procrastination.  The good thing is that often, I do recognize my behavior, and see what I am doing, sooner rather than later.  I laugh at myself, take a deep breath and do what needs to be done.

Please share your thoughts, how do you avoid avoidance?

Please share this blog if it resonates with you or you know someone who might benefit from it.

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Announcing that I have finished a book with the working title of “The Fairy Fort.” I am currently pitching it to publishers. Keep checking back to watch the progress of my newest novel.

Here is a quick glimpse of the story.

Sarah Doherty is an 18-year-old living in rural Ireland at the tail end of the Great War. Plagued by severe epilepsy, she is protected by her parents and lives a sheltered, secluded, lonely life. The Fae, local Irish fairies, interfere with her life. She falls forward a century in time through the local fairy fort of standing stones. She had a seizure in 1918 and woke up in 2020. The 21st century world includes life-saving prescriptions, physical comforts and the independence and freedom she seeks. The locals are welcoming and Andy Mclaughlin, a handsome young historian, is intriguing. She doesn’t want to return home.

Then a letter arrives from Boston divulging the story of Sarah and Andy’s lives that are deeply entwined in the previous century. They are not yet in love but as they seek to verify the letter through online resources, they feel a growing obligation to their unborn family and to each other. What would happen to their posterity living in Boston if they don’t return to 1918? Even if they do make it back, her parents can never know what happened to her or that would change everything.

This Young Adult time-travel romance explores the question: Do we have the freedom to make choices or is free will an elaborate illusion?

This is my third book. I love reading time travel romances. I am an advocate for epilepsy awareness because my 43-year-old son has intractable epilepsy. As a genealogist specializing in Irish research, I live part of the year in the village where the story is based. I wrote the book to help young adults understand that difficult situations can change your life. Sometimes miraculously.