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Events cause priorities to shift.

Just like most everyone I know, my calendar of scheduled appointments gets filled up.  Not all of these appointments are work related, some are lunches or dinners with friends.  Some of my appointments are self-care and pampering as well.  My days are busy.  Until something happens with Nick.

Then everything changes in a moment.  My view of what is important to do gets honed to pinpoint precision and the calendar is cleared.  Usually everyone understands if Nicks day has gone sideways and his health is backsliding, but there are others who express frustration that this has gone on for so long without us having a permanent solution.  Those are the clients that I have invited to find another tax accountant.

I do feel a commitment to my clients and to my friends, but my main responsibility is to care for my son.

When the cluster seizures start, we get Nick into his room and then begin our bedside vigil.  Our whole focus and attention has turned to caring for Nick, monitoring the progress of the seizures and administering his rescue medicines and his seizure protocol.  Our own needs and desires have taken a backseat to handling the current critical event.

Most of us would do this when a crisis happens with our loved ones.  The difference with caring for someone who is chronically ill, is that these events arrive often and without warning.  Disrupting our work and other responsibilities can cause frustration to those others who need to suddenly carry a bigger load because of the change in our capacity to do anything except to care for the person who is ill.

We have been blessed in our careers, some families lose their jobs because of the time required to care for their family member.  Other people we know have lost friends due to meltdowns caused by the stress response in their lives.  It can be difficult to have empathy and compassion for others, especially when we don’t truly understand what they are going through.

If you know someone with a family member going through a severe chronic or life threatening illness, figure out how to support and strengthen them.   Often little things mean a great deal.  Over the years I have received unexpected tender emails, or a plate of homemade cookies, or a bunch of flowers dropped off at my front door.  Sometimes I have known who the kind gift came from, other times it was anonymous.   It always lifted my spirits and helped me trudge through the mud until the experience was over.

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One Comment

  1. You and Arden are the most amazing parents! God entrusted you with a special spirit because he knew your hearts and hands could encase his heart and hold his hands. Patience and virtue will follow you through all your endeavors with your Sweet son Nick. Bless you for your example and understanding.

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Announcing that I have finished a book with the working title of “The Fairy Fort.” I am currently pitching it to publishers. Keep checking back to watch the progress of my newest novel.

Here is a quick glimpse of the story.

Sarah Doherty is an 18-year-old living in rural Ireland at the tail end of the Great War. Plagued by severe epilepsy, she is protected by her parents and lives a sheltered, secluded, lonely life. The Fae, local Irish fairies, interfere with her life. She falls forward a century in time through the local fairy fort of standing stones. She had a seizure in 1918 and woke up in 2020. The 21st century world includes life-saving prescriptions, physical comforts and the independence and freedom she seeks. The locals are welcoming and Andy Mclaughlin, a handsome young historian, is intriguing. She doesn’t want to return home.

Then a letter arrives from Boston divulging the story of Sarah and Andy’s lives that are deeply entwined in the previous century. They are not yet in love but as they seek to verify the letter through online resources, they feel a growing obligation to their unborn family and to each other. What would happen to their posterity living in Boston if they don’t return to 1918? Even if they do make it back, her parents can never know what happened to her or that would change everything.

This Young Adult time-travel romance explores the question: Do we have the freedom to make choices or is free will an elaborate illusion?

This is my third book. I love reading time travel romances. I am an advocate for epilepsy awareness because my 43-year-old son has intractable epilepsy. As a genealogist specializing in Irish research, I live part of the year in the village where the story is based. I wrote the book to help young adults understand that difficult situations can change your life. Sometimes miraculously.