I feel as if I have lived a lifetime of experiences in just one day. I had many unexpected and often unplanned events that were both painful and joyful. I had the chance to serve a few people and to be cared for by others. I had the opportunity to connect with loved ones and then drove past countless strangers and didn’t really notice them.
I am grateful for the time tonight to reflect on my responses to some of my life experiences. 7 weeks ago tomorrow, Nick hurt his ankle. We took him to the emergency room and were told that his ankle was broken and we needed to take him to an orthopedic surgeon the next day.
As I went to bed that first night, full of fear, I cried myself to sleep. I didn’t see how Arden and I were going to manage the difficult task of caring for Nick during the long weeks as his ankle healed. I had visited every possible terrible awful situation in my thoughts and had worked myself into a very dark frame of mind. How were we going to bathe him, or move him from his bed to his wheel chair or keep him from being bored if he was stuck at home in his bedroom?
None of the things that I had imagined came to pass. In fact, although it has taken longer each day to get Nick ready while he has been wearing this air cast, he has gotten to do most everything that he has wanted to. We all have traveled these past weeks in pretty good spirits.
So why did I put myself through that experience of creating the long lists of what terrible awful things could be possible? I tell myself that perhaps I am trying to prepare myself for the worst case, so I can handle it. However what I have learned over the years is that we can’t be prepared for hard things by dwelling on the fact that they might happen. Instead we need to increase our ability to be grateful for the good things. We need to learn to find comfort in the simple beautiful things that happen every day.
I am grateful that my dark night was only that – one night. I woke up the next morning ready to get to work to move through whatever was going to happen.
Tomorrow Nick will again see the doctor. He keeps saying that he won’t have to wear the walking boot anymore and that his ankle is done healing. I hope that he is right. And if he isn’t, we will continue following the doctors instructions to help his healing progress.
No matter what tomorrow brings, it will be good.
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