Last week Nick spent over a day enduring an extended seizure episode. It was grueling and exhausting and scary all at the same time. As soon as it was over we all slept for two days. That was three days of our lives unexpectedly taken from us!
Early on, I reached out on social media and asked for prayers for Nick, when it became apparent that the seizures weren’t going to stop easily. There is always the intense worry that they won’t stop at all. We were astonished and comforted by the outpouring of love and concern shown for Nick, and the rest of our family. Nick tells us that he is much better and that he is fine. His face looks a bit haggard and tired, but 5 gran mal seizures in 10 hours is really intense on any body. The medical community says that he is back to baseline, which means that he has no outward indication of seizure activity interfering with his daily life.
This phrase has made me question, “Am I back to baseline?” I don’t have seizures, but I certainly am impacted by the stressful 28 hour experience last week. My short term memory is slowly recovering. I am emotional and unusually reactive to loud noises. If someone is talking really fast, I have to ask them to repeat what they are saying, my brain is processing information slower.
I have heard some other caregivers for loved ones with LGS say that they suffer from PTSD. Arden and I laugh to ourselves and say that there is nothing “Post” about our Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I believe that everyone experiences hard things that test us to our very core. I know that I have compassion for others when they are struggling. I haven’t always done that with myself. I am grateful for the emotional and physical support our friends and relations gave us in our darkest hours.
I am learning to give myself grace as I work to regain my own emotional baseline after going through a difficult experience.
Please reach out and share when you have been blessed by others when you have needed it most. It can be an incredible blessing to hear the stories of others. Please share this blog post if you know someone who would benefit.