Hindsight is really 20/20.

For the past four months, I have been working on the second draft of the book I am writing about raising Nick.  I have such compassion for the young mother that I was.  I am astounded at the things that I have been able to do over the years.  I am very grateful that I kept a journal.  I didn’t write every day, but I wrote often enough that reading the entries takes me back immediately to the experience and the emotions I was feeling.

At the time, I didn’t have much confidence in myself.  I was unsure of my abilities to take care of Nick with all of his health and behaviour issues.  I continually read books and consulted with experts in order to learn all that I could.  I still didn’t feel that I could do it.

A friend recently asked me what I would say to my younger self if I had the opportunity to travel back in time and sit down with her over a cup of herbal tea.  (Or a chocolate brownie sundae, whichever would be more comforting!)

First I would tell myself that everything will be ok.  Even the hard things will eventually turn out to be ok.  Second I would tell myself to do everything each day that is possible to do and then be grateful at night for what was done.  I would say that it is a waste of time and energy to worry about those things that didn’t get done.  Put it on the list for the next day if it is truly important.  Third I would tell myself to hug others more and laugh more.  Find joy every day.

I don’t know if my younger self would have listened but currently my 60-year old self knows how important these things are.  I wonder what my 80 year old self would say to me today if she could come and sit with me right now.  I find it an interesting thought to ponder.  Try it.  Write down the thoughts that come to you.

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  • Paula Moore Posted September 30, 2017 8:15 pm

    Eva, This post really made me think about the direction of my life. I’m glad you have this blog to share your insights.

  • Laura T Posted October 15, 2017 11:58 pm

    Eva, Great blog post. I wish I had kept a journal with 5 children under 5 and everything I went through. I’m reading a book by Tara Mohr – Playing Big and it talks about the same sort of things you said above about what would you say to yourself if you could meet now. It’s interesting. I used to try to control so much of my environment and then realized I didn’t need to do that. Hindsight…..

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