When you see a toddler having a fit, do you judge the parents and believe it is their fault? Do you feel that they should be doing something? Often we all do. I don’t believe that parents are responsible for their children’s mistakes. However I do believe that parents have the duty to teach their children correct principles. Children need to know right from wrong to the best of their intellectual capacity at the time. It is not kind to the child or society to neglect this part of their education.
Some parents do feel responsible for their kids action. Perhaps a portion of this is normal. I certainly have felt a swelling in my heart when my kids did something great and conversely felt dread and some despair when their actions were awful.
The courts of the US have been wrestling with this question. Are parents responsible when children commit a crime? They can’t agree on it either.
I watched a short video yesterday. The young man, probably about 7 or 8 years old, has the same Lennox Gastaut Syndrome as our Nick. The mom put an empty plastic bottle on the floor about 10 feet away from the boy and asked him to pick it up. Haltingly he walked over and slowly bent over and retrieved the bottle. The boy smiled while the Mom jumped up and down clapping and cheering. I was cheering to. It was a huge accomplishment. Is she responsible for him gaining that skill? I am sure that she is a big factor but she is not accountable for either his successes or his disabilities.
When you see Nick drooling, do you blame me? Perhaps you think I should wipe his face. After all, we do have a towel around his neck constantly available. Sometimes I do read judgment in other people’s expressions. Or they tell me, “Eva you need to get that.” Then there are other times when someone notices and gently wipes his chin while exclaiming “here Nick, let me get that for you.” I appreciate the help. I can’t do it all, all the time.
Let’s all commit to reserve judgment and help others when we can!
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