We live in a world that honors high achievement. I was raised in a family culture that expected excellence in school, in sports and in my career. There is nothing wrong with working hard to achieve goals. However, if this intense goal-oriented life is accompanied by self-doubt and feelings of not being good enough, then this achievement path can be damaging rather than uplifting.
Having children that struggled to reach typical developmental milestones caused me to take an honest look at my own expectations. Not just my expectations for them, but also my expectations for myself.
I think that we cause ourselves undue stress and sometimes actual harm when we only honor achievement and don’t recognize and celebrate effort. Sometimes we will not be able to gain a particular skill.
For me one of those unachieveable skills is baking homemade bread. I know that might seem silly, but for awhile it bothered me. Over the years I have had well meaning friends who thought I just didn’t have the right recipe or my ingredients weren’t fresh, or….
The fact is, as my neighbor explained to another friend last week, Eva just can’t make homemade bread. I finally am ok with this. I found a way to create an accommodation for this. I bought an electric bread maker and that works.
Sometimes I still feel bad, especially when someone tries to tell me that it is easy, or they believe they can help me finally accomplish this. I tell myself that there are many things I can do and I do know that achievement is not the measure of value.
I am enough. I keep striving to learn and grow. I do have goals. Also every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed, I read this sign on the wall as a reminder. Let everything you do today be enough.
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