Tonight I am feeling bad. Nick fell today while I was at home alone with him and hurt his other ankle. I keep thinking that if I could have been more aware or more prepared or more firm or more …. (fill in the blank) that I could have prevented this from happening.
Remember that it was 2 1/2 months ago that he fell and broke his right ankle, well today I was trying to stop him from walking on a new floor that wasn’t ready to walk on and he wanted to walk on it. He lost his balance while I was blocking him from going into the room and he was pushing against me. He fell over backwards and now his left ankle is a bit swollen and he is limping on it.
I keep reminding myself that he weighs a lot and is stubborn. Often, it is like trying to move a freight train rumbling down the track when he wants to do something and I need him to do something else. Even with all of those rational thoughts rolling around in my brain, I still feel bad.
Having children is a big responsibility. It is a 24/7 job. Being responsible for your child for over 37 years is daunting. Some days I feel like I am successful and other days … Well, let’s just say that other days, I don’t feel as successful.
Arden says that I need to be honest about the times that are tough as well as celebrate the things that are amazing. Tonight is one of those tough times.
I know that everyone has times that are difficult to deal with and times when we wish we had handled things differently. I am grateful for friends who listen to me and hug me and tell me that everything will be ok, eventually.
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